In the world of stories and books, not all characters are created equal. Some are awesome and leave marks in the reader’s mind, soul, and existence.
Others just annoy.
So here are:
“12 Pet Peeves about Female Characters”,
or “I’m here to complain about things”.
1. The Damsel in distress ~
Now, don’t get me wrong, not all characters have to slice and dice and save the day. Some get captured and need saving. But if their whole purpose in the story is to wait passively for someone to save them, then no. Just no. Even people with no fighting chance would fight to save their lives.
2. The Questionnaire ~
She is the kind of character, who is there just so the audience can know stuff. She is a constant question mark, always asking about things, even things she should already know. Her only purpose in the story is exposition.
3. The Unique Girl ~
She is nothing you’ve ever seen before. She is unlike anyone else. She is not like other girls for sure. In a planet with billions of people, she is a special lil snowflake of uniqueness, and no one can measure about to her individuality.
And how did she come to be like this? By being like all other girls.
4. The Pedestal Girl ~
She is amazing, she has value, she is someone you’d aspire to be. Now, I know she sounds a lot like the girl before, but at least the Unique Girl does something with her life.
The Pedestal Girl is just there to be valuable just because she has female bits. She does nothing to prove her value, her worth, or even her usefulness to the story. She just is. And she is amazing for it.
5. The Flawless Klutz ~
She is beauty, she is grace, she trips on air.
She is the girl who is so clumsy for no apparent reason. She just is. She can’t hold a stack of books without dropping them, she can’t drink anything without spilling it, she can’t walk without falling flat on her face in front of her crush.
Maybe she should just leave saving the world to someone else and go see her doctor.
6. The Fixer ~
She’s met the love of her life. He’s hot, handsome, and with enough psychological baggage to have a sane person running for the hills.
Alas, no. She’ll stick by him. She’s there to fix him, to save him.
But mostly, she’s there for all the abuse she’s going to endure. Because she’s there for the single purpose of rehabilitating this barbarian to a decent human being.
7. The Ugly Beauty ~
Epic poems are written every day about her beauty. Songs are sang about her grace and her elegance. How this goddess is allowed to live among the mortals is unknown.
Somehow, she appeals to all. Men, women, all the genders in between. Nobody has unique tastes. They all just love her.
And yet, she believes she’s ugly. She’s a hideous abomination, a freak of nature. She’s not humble, she’s whinny and right on the verge of stupid.
8. The Hottie ~
She’s overflowing with sexuality. Everything she does is sexy. It doesn’t matter what it is, she’ll do it in the sexiest way possible. Whether that’s attending a fancy party, or disembowelling a corpse. The results are one and the same. She’s oozing with sex-appeal 24/7.
9. The Badass ~
She knows the art of the sword, she can take down a whole army by herself, she can do backflips while drinking her morning coffee without spilling a drop.
But the reader will see none of that. The reader is told of her badassery, but sees none of it. She’s badass in name only, and does little to justify it. Not all characters have to go around murdering people, nor do they all need to be badass in the same way. But if you are writing a badass assassin/spy/murderer/whatever, you better commit to it and keep her in character.
10. The Old Woman ~
If you are not young, if you are a bit old in years, there are only two ways to go. The adorable grandma, or the jealous, vindictive bitch.
No way for an older female character to be content and happy with her life, to be independent, to have goals and aspirations, to not be jealous of her daughter’s youth and beauty, or to not be there just to appear cute and the answer a very important question: What are these kids going to eat while saving the world?
11. The Virgin ~
She’s not only a virgin, but she’s also pure. She knows nothing of naughty stuff, nothing of sex. Not even her humour is dirty, and she is always so shocked when people make improper comments.
She’s a pure, white snowflake, there to remind us every single step of the way of her purity, of her virginity.
There to be a Damsel in Distress 99,9% of the time.
12. The Doormat ~
She has a non-existent personality. She’s there to be pulled left and right by the choices of the antagonist and the other characters. She has no original thought in her head, no motivation or initiative.
She’s just there to serve purposes and close gaps. And even though there might be people like her in real life, we require our protagonists and our characters to have a little more drive. Or at least, to have some character growth.
If they start as a doormat, they shouldn’t stay a doormat by the end of the story.